Here are some options (artifacts of our collective mythology/conditions/afflictions/philosophies) recently brainstormed. Pick two at random or pick two deliberately or make your own. Have fun!

 

Aborigine

Alien

Agoraphobe

Android

Animal/Were-Animal (Choose any random animal, ie sloth)

Anus (sentient, of course)

Aphasic

Archaeologist

Baby

Biblical figure (existing or made up).

Biker

Bisexual

Cartoon character (existing or made up, S&M Porky Pig, for example)

Celebrity (existing or made up, Paris Hilton with eight legs, for example)

Cowboy

Drunk

Dwarf

Dyslexic

Eight legged (or multi-legged)

Elf

Fairy

Firebreather

Florida tourist

Frankenstein's monster

Ghost

Giant snake

Homosexual

Legless

Leper

Mad scientist

Mandolin player

Masochist

Mentally handicapped

Mermaid/Merman

Mythological god (an existing god or a made up one)

Narcoleptic

Necromancer

Ninja

One eyed

Paranoid

Pessimist

Pirate

Pothead

President (an actual president or a made up one)

Procrastinator

Professional wrestler

Psychopath

Puppet

Pyromaniac

Redneck

Robot

Sadomasochist

Samurai

Skeleton

Smurf

Snowman

Stripper

Suicidal

Superhero (existing one or made up one)

Thrasher movie killer

Transformer

Transvestite

Tremors monster

Troll

Voodoo priestess

Zombie